Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
