Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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