used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I think i got beer on your cat.
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