Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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