omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
They took my balls.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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