i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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