He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
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