chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Randomize
