...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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