I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Even my vagina gasped.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
