he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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