Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
