I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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