Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize