they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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