I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize