Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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