Are we in a gay sports bar?
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
tell me about the eggs
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
