the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
