I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
