If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
