I feel like I'm in dance class right now
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
