Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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