Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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