She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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