I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
