Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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