So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
