just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
