I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
