If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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