Cold hands, warm shart.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
