Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize