the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I want to fling myself into the sun
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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