We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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