ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize