Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
