I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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