it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
