woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
3pm strippers are depressing
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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