I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
