OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
