Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
