in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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