dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
A bitchslap is in order.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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