Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i now understand why vodka
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
