She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
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Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
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My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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