My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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