So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
He felt like a one man threesome
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
