whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I need water and some morals
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize