i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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