this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
