I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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