But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
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Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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