In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Success! We fucked roommates!
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
