I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
