I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
